Whoa! So who would have thought I would decide to get a double mastectomy and reconstruction? Not me!! Well, my decision literally happened overnight, but there were hallmarks along the way that guided me.
Happenstance appeared a couple of days before my appeal when I met 3 women who had had mastectomys - and each one of them told me the only regret they had was that they didn't have a double mastectomy. One said each year when she got a mammogram she wondered if this would be the year cancer would be in her remaining breast.
I was expending a lot of energy trying to persuade my insurance to pay for partial breast irradiation (PBI) instead of whole breast radiation. My in-person insurance appeal was set. To bolster my appeal, I saw a new oncologist the day before my appeal - I wanted her notes that she would not do PBI on me. I picked her because she was close to my house - that's it.
She was so earnest and passionate about what she thought I should do - whole breast radiation. She explained how my cancer had learned to travel to my bloodstream in a year and I had the chance now to seriously retard - and maybe prevent - it coming back. She drew pictures and explained why PBI would not reduce my chances for recurrence below 15%, and because I had two types of cancer she thought the odds were higher. I imagine I had been told this before, but there was something about her earnestness that propelled me to rethink my whole 'less is more' strategy. She offered to get me started on radiation right then and there. I declined.
That evening I made my decision. I called my surgeon. I cancelled the insurance appeal. I will never have to wonder about the cancer coming back.
Today I saw my plastic surgeon and it turns out that the UW performs something called DIEP - basically taking fat from your tummy and making new breasts. The recovery is faster than ever and the results are even better. This is state of the art surgery and not done much outside of the Northwest. She is on the staff there and I will see them this week. She also told me I was a perfect candidate - healthy, strong, with a good amount of tummy fat (well, she didn't quite say it that way, but I knew what she meant!). So not only do I get new breasts, I get a tummy tuck to boot! I could go on about all the good things she told me about this procedure, but suffice that this is really the lemon tree making lemonade ... and I'm joyfully looking forward!
The one thread that has stuck with me through this is how critical your support system is when you are dealing with cancer. Thank you all for being my support system. I save all your notes and have reread them when I feel a bit low. I am fortunate, lucky, blessed and loved to have you. I want to be able to share with and listen to other women over 50 who get breast cancer, and I'm sure the universe will guide me there, too. When I have surgery scheduled I will let you know.
My plan is to run the Tucson Half Marathon on Dec 11.
LOVE TO YOU ALL - THANK YOU!!!!!
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